Day Forty-Nine

1. 147 lives lost

Another week has gone and it's now forty-nine days since we re-joined the transplant waiting list. 147 people have died waiting for their call to come during that time.

2. Happy Birthdays

Today is my birthday. It's often a reflective day for me but this year particularly so. It's hard to think and plan for the year ahead when things are so uncertain and you have no idea what that year is going to bring but I am trying to gather some thoughts and ideas. I have been looking back too, especially to this day six years ago. It was a week after William's transplant and I hadn't seen the girls for ages. Wills and I were living in hospital in the months leading up to his transplant and the girls were living away with my parents in Stoke-on-Trent. Mum bought Hope and Ellie over to see us for my birthday. They got to see Wills for the first time after his transplant and we spent some wonderful time all together. Then we went for lunch and a wonder around the German Christmas Market. I was trying to have a special time with them and focus on them for a while but Wills hadn't been good. His tummy was swollen and his stoma had become huge. There was some concern about him and much as I was trying to enjoy my time with the girls and trust Wills was safe back at the hospital, I felt uncomfortable leaving him. It was a fantastic day though and the best birthday present of all was having all my children with me, even though it ended the way I feared it would - with news that Wills was going to have to go back to the operating theatre for the second time since his transplant to sort out a blockage in his new bowel.

I don't have my eldest, grown up girl, Hope,  with me this year as she is off at university, in Birmingham. She is with us in spirit though and I am just off out for tea now with Ellie and Wills to celebrate being together. So, I make no apologies that this is a quick blog and I'll share more of my reflections with you in the coming days.

3. A guide for reflection...

This is another quote that I've come across recently and seems very appropriate for today and the coming days as I think and plan the year ahead, for my earth year and 2015.

"Ask yourself what is really important, and then have the wisdom and courage to build your life around your answer."